Tag Archives: blogging

The Limits of Faith

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This has been in the making for some time.  I was inspired to write a book.  I was disturbed enough to try.  For the past few years I have been hard at work developing the themes and concepts I wish to discuss, and integrating them into a model of the book.  The book itself was too complex to write in one go.  I had to build a model of it, to help me see what I was trying to say.

In some ways, the book has been a healthy diversion from life’s problems.  I have a form of muscular dystrophy that makes things quite challenging.  Several years ago I was forced to quit the working world, and deal head on with this.  It took a lot of effort to learn how to live with failing strength.  But I have.  Recently I moved from Arizona to North Carolina.  Soon I will move from an apartment into a home.  This was unthinkable three and four years ago.  But think it I did and now here I am.

Last year, at the beginning of summer, I made my first road trip, on my own.  I went to the 29th annual Pima Writers Workshop, in Tucson.  I submitted a manuscript to be critiqued by an agent.  First time doing that.  The guy likes my writing, but not as a book.  This did not stop me.  But it got me thinking about the scope of what I am trying to describe.  I have an awful lot of material that contradicts our understanding of ourselves.

One of the goals I set for myself at the beginning of this year was to write for an audience.  Begin publishing.  This blog has been on and off the back burner since its inception.  It has been difficult to keep this up while dealing with everything else.  But when I found the home, it occurred to me that I had achieved a goal I had set when I first could no longer work.  I had gotten myself out of one living situation I could no longer handle physically, and into one that I could.  A couple weeks ago I met at the house with a contractor to get a quote on a wheelchair ramp and a front deck, to replace the wooden staircase leading to the front door.  Afterwards, getting back in my van, I had to pause for a vision.  Something was telling me that I could finally pick up the blog again, and sustain it.

We live in a world gone mad.  I have been following the problem of radical Islam with intense disturbed fascination.  My writing interests have converged with world events.  I have spent my life finding the words to describe a phenomenon that regularly now is making the news.  Then, in the past few days, news broke of the pending executions of 14 pro-democracy demonstrators in Saudi Arabia.  As a writer, I feel a need to do something.  It is time to put an end to this madness.

My goal is to stop these executions from happening, by bringing attention to their plight.  But this is a short term goal.  Long term, my goal is to challenge our understanding of God, so that radical Islam loses its power.  My method will be to counter the narrative of radical Islam by describing it in new terms.  Religions like Islam and Christianity present a false view of God.  I am building a case.  We need a new understanding.  Something rational.  Because we have reached the limits of faith.

For everyday, ordinary.

Writer’s block. I highly recommend three books. They were recommended to me. I’m just passing them on. I present them in the order I read them. These are the three classics, in my library of writing books. My hard copies are all on loan, and I don’t expect them back. Just keep them in circulation.

The first is Writing Down the Bones, by Natalie Goldberg. This book transformed how I approach my daily practice. In fact, I didn’t actually have a daily practice, prior to reading this. My first year of writing, I had a regular practice, but not daily. And, I focused on producing manuscripts.

Natalie completely changed my approach. She taught me to write from within a journal. Some people can produce lots of great books, just working up manuscripts. But, that’s not her approach. And now, it is neither mine.

The next is The War of Art, by Steven Pressfield. A book to disabuse the aspiring writer that there is any short path to success. It is work. It can be brutal. Get used to it. It is a job, like any other. Grind, in order to succeed.

The last is The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron. I have had a funny relationship with this book. First, Wen Ling had to hit me over the head with it (only figuratively), to get me to read it. I wouldn’t. Then, I actually began this book before The War of Art. But, I finished the latter, first. Then, after my diagnosis, and as my last year of software-engineering played out, I ignored the title on my Nook. My symptoms had overwhelmed me. I could sense that Julia’s book would require more effort than I could provide, in that moment. So it sat waiting for the right conditions, before I would open it.

I came back to it naturally, as I renewed my creative effort. I had just spent the better part of two years writing, or, as I imagine it, thinking physically, about all the stuff happening in my life. Wen Ling and I had separated. Then, I discovered I had this health challenge. Followed by an adjustment period. Journaling helped me to come through all of this with an optimistic and accepting attitude. Somewhere around November/December of 2012, I began to think creatively, again.

Initially, I wanted to return to the book I had abandoned, before my symptoms had begun to dictate my days. I had already discovered the first of five principles for dealing with my symptoms. (More on this in my next post.) I had had just an absolutely great concept for a book. But, when I tried to pick it up again, something was missing.

I found it difficult to resume that relationship. Too much had passed in the interim. The story felt distant, to me.

I needed new inspiration. This is when I turned to The Artist’s Way. I have seen a number of reviews, by people who say it is just a bunch of ‘New Age Hooey’. I completely disagree.

Julia Cameron will ask you to do some strange stuff, in the way of weekly exercises. For instance, one of the exercises I undertook was to pray for creativity. Now, understand, I am an atheist. But, I did the exercise, because I was serious about unlocking my creativity.

The book contains Julia’s philosophy, in twelve lessons, each with exercises. These twelve chapters are intended to be followed, in order, one chapter per week. And, Julia tells people that the exercises must be followed. You can’t unlock your creativity just by reading about it.

Well, I had a deep burning intention to do just that. This atheist prayed, and did a lot of the other exercises, too. I even adopted the attitude that I would take on the all of the difficult assignments, to better challenge myself.

Somewhere in week seven, my creativity unlocked. I began my current project. I’ll go back and finish the The Artist’s Way, someday. I think the people who pan the book are just too stiff to be exercised.

Writer’s block is no match for honest effort, and these three books. I recommend them all. Julia asks the most of the reader, in terms of follow-along practices. Brand new writers, I might tend to steer toward Writing Down the Bones, instead. Natalie appeals to the youth in all of us. The War of Art most resembles a pep-talk. Sometimes we need a good pep-talk. This would be a great book for a newly crushed writer, after sharing their first bad work. Pick yourself up. Get back on that horse!

These three books are better, for blocked writers, than what I will share. Instead, beginning in my next post, I will spin a tale of what happened after I took all three to heart, and tried to write a book as my health continued to deteriorate. This past year was my most challenging, yet. But, by applying the idea that my disease was just a form of writer’s block, I discovered some adaptations that have allowed me to find the energy, and the mental clarity, to begin my book. I couldn’t say this, even one month ago. Back then, when I told people I am writing a book, I never hid the fact that I wrote everything in my journal.

Now. I am beginning my book. It is no longer confined to my journal. I am back to working up manuscripts. In addition to journaling. (I would love for readers to share their favorite books on writing, in the comments section below. Or, blog about yours, and share a link to your physical thoughts, as a comment/pingback.)

Writer’s block? Not!

Until recently, whenever I wasn’t writing for my blog, it was because of my symptoms. My newest problem is actually the type that writers dream about. Ideas for my book and my blog are coming fast and heavy. I can’t write for my blog until I can capture all my thoughts, and organize them, in some fashion. This is not a bad day, by any stretch of the imagination.

I hope your writing day is as good as mine. I will share my work as soon as I can separate my blogging thoughts, from my book thoughts. I am trying to write for the blog, but too many good paragraphs, that actually belong in my book, are creeping into my next deliberate post.

My writing voice and my blogging voice are the same. But, I want the topics they address to be different. My difficulty is in noticing the book ideas, before they land on the page. I’m trying to write for my blog, but my book keeps taking over my mind. Keeping the two separate is my latest cognitive challenge.

I don’t want readers of my blog to be disappointed that they could have just read my blog, instead of paying money for a book. My intention is that you, my readers, will hopefully be doubly delighted that the blog was free.

I am not there, yet. But, today I am willing to begin speaking to my evolving artistic statement.

What is an evolving artistic statement? I’ll tell you tomorrow, if today’s blog post is still not completed, but my energy is still good. Today, I can afford a quick aside to tell my readers how my day has been. Think Tony Tiger!

If tomorrow is the same, I should be able to give some depth to the notion. But, if tomorrow is different, I hope the only possible explanation is that I completed what I am working up, today. In the future, I look forward to returning you to my newly developing narrative.

(If I wait too long before explaining ‘evolving artistic statement’, tell me in the comments section below that day’s piece. I really do want to talk about it. I just have to write today’s thoughts while they are fresh. My artistic statement isn’t fresh. It has been evolving.)

When I began.

This blog.

I thought, then, that I knew what I wanted to write.  But, I actually had some difficulty in achieving my objective.  I can see several reasons for this.  I will identify and discuss them here, and in upcoming posts.

My first problem is that, although I have been writing daily, none of it seemed appropriate for my blog.  So, my early practice was to post stuff from my journal that seemed worth sharing.

Now, here, I would like to introduce a subject.  I will call it my writing conscience.

My writing conscience has been nagging me to write specifically for my book.  And, write for this blog.  But, I was battling unseen forces.  And, sometimes you can’t clearly see your enemy until you gain the upper hand.

I want your permission.

To spread my thoughts among many short posts.  Because, I don’t have the energy to sustain my writing.  I am discouraged by my lack of progress. I want to share many things with you.  But, I may have to stretch my thoughts out over several days.

Some days I can only write a few sentences.  Others, I may post more pieces, or larger pieces.  Look for the common narrative.

In order to fulfill my promise to post daily, I will do it in short pieces.

I can no longer write lengthy pieces.  I will tell you why tomorrow.

But, for now, understand that I will stretch my narrative out over days, because this is the only way I seem to be able to work.

Today.

I am merely demonstrating how I want my posts to be understood.  If I write many short posts with titles, look for the narrative.  My narrative will be found among and between the posts.  I am forced to resort to this because of my muscular dystrophy.

There.  In my last post I mentioned that I would soon tell you why I am forced to write in small posts.  And now I am telling you.

I write in small posts because everything is difficult for me right now.  This is how muscular dystrophy affects me.