After I woke, I napped for three hours on the couch. I am in that exhaustive phase, where pain is something in which I am immersed.
But, I vaporized some Blue Dream. And, with it, and the extra sleep, I am alright.
There is something noteworthy in this experience. Although I am dealing with the pain and the fatigue, I haven’t lost sight of my narrative. This is my first experience of being knocked back, by my symptoms, but not out. In the past, this is where I would have forgotten everything I was thinking. In the past, my remaining strength would have bounced me between the couch, and my bed.
Today is different. Today, I can still think about my book in a way that moves it forward.
I see this as behavioral evidence of brain re-wiring. I started this book during the last few months of my employment. And, I have been consciously developing a voice and a narrative during this last year. My worst symptoms always seemed to make my creative work vanish. Mentally, it would take days, or weeks, to get the creativity back, and more effort to re-develop the narrative, in my mind.
This is the first time I have experienced these symptoms and retained my creative faculties.