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Category Archives: God
For everyday, ordinary.
Writer’s block. I highly recommend three books. They were recommended to me. I’m just passing them on. I present them in the order I read them. These are the three classics, in my library of writing books. My hard copies are all on loan, and I don’t expect them back. Just keep them in circulation.
The first is Writing Down the Bones, by Natalie Goldberg. This book transformed how I approach my daily practice. In fact, I didn’t actually have a daily practice, prior to reading this. My first year of writing, I had a regular practice, but not daily. And, I focused on producing manuscripts.
Natalie completely changed my approach. She taught me to write from within a journal. Some people can produce lots of great books, just working up manuscripts. But, that’s not her approach. And now, it is neither mine.
The next is The War of Art, by Steven Pressfield. A book to disabuse the aspiring writer that there is any short path to success. It is work. It can be brutal. Get used to it. It is a job, like any other. Grind, in order to succeed.
The last is The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron. I have had a funny relationship with this book. First, Wen Ling had to hit me over the head with it (only figuratively), to get me to read it. I wouldn’t. Then, I actually began this book before The War of Art. But, I finished the latter, first. Then, after my diagnosis, and as my last year of software-engineering played out, I ignored the title on my Nook. My symptoms had overwhelmed me. I could sense that Julia’s book would require more effort than I could provide, in that moment. So it sat waiting for the right conditions, before I would open it.
I came back to it naturally, as I renewed my creative effort. I had just spent the better part of two years writing, or, as I imagine it, thinking physically, about all the stuff happening in my life. Wen Ling and I had separated. Then, I discovered I had this health challenge. Followed by an adjustment period. Journaling helped me to come through all of this with an optimistic and accepting attitude. Somewhere around November/December of 2012, I began to think creatively, again.
Initially, I wanted to return to the book I had abandoned, before my symptoms had begun to dictate my days. I had already discovered the first of five principles for dealing with my symptoms. (More on this in my next post.) I had had just an absolutely great concept for a book. But, when I tried to pick it up again, something was missing.
I found it difficult to resume that relationship. Too much had passed in the interim. The story felt distant, to me.
I needed new inspiration. This is when I turned to The Artist’s Way. I have seen a number of reviews, by people who say it is just a bunch of ‘New Age Hooey’. I completely disagree.
Julia Cameron will ask you to do some strange stuff, in the way of weekly exercises. For instance, one of the exercises I undertook was to pray for creativity. Now, understand, I am an atheist. But, I did the exercise, because I was serious about unlocking my creativity.
The book contains Julia’s philosophy, in twelve lessons, each with exercises. These twelve chapters are intended to be followed, in order, one chapter per week. And, Julia tells people that the exercises must be followed. You can’t unlock your creativity just by reading about it.
Well, I had a deep burning intention to do just that. This atheist prayed, and did a lot of the other exercises, too. I even adopted the attitude that I would take on the all of the difficult assignments, to better challenge myself.
Somewhere in week seven, my creativity unlocked. I began my current project. I’ll go back and finish the The Artist’s Way, someday. I think the people who pan the book are just too stiff to be exercised.
Writer’s block is no match for honest effort, and these three books. I recommend them all. Julia asks the most of the reader, in terms of follow-along practices. Brand new writers, I might tend to steer toward Writing Down the Bones, instead. Natalie appeals to the youth in all of us. The War of Art most resembles a pep-talk. Sometimes we need a good pep-talk. This would be a great book for a newly crushed writer, after sharing their first bad work. Pick yourself up. Get back on that horse!
These three books are better, for blocked writers, than what I will share. Instead, beginning in my next post, I will spin a tale of what happened after I took all three to heart, and tried to write a book as my health continued to deteriorate. This past year was my most challenging, yet. But, by applying the idea that my disease was just a form of writer’s block, I discovered some adaptations that have allowed me to find the energy, and the mental clarity, to begin my book. I couldn’t say this, even one month ago. Back then, when I told people I am writing a book, I never hid the fact that I wrote everything in my journal.
Now. I am beginning my book. It is no longer confined to my journal. I am back to working up manuscripts. In addition to journaling. (I would love for readers to share their favorite books on writing, in the comments section below. Or, blog about yours, and share a link to your physical thoughts, as a comment/pingback.)
Shh. Shh. Writer at work.
The blog has not gone.
Quiet. Writer. Preoccupied.
My creative periods come in spurts, between bouts of symptoms.
My book is my focus. I am writing my calling card.
In this moment, between symptoms, I can be intensely productive.
I am on disability. But, I no longer believe my condition should hold me back.
My book, if she sells, will be evidence I can earn my own keep.
Silence is the foundation on which all noise is built.
Sacred Space.
Within, I work.
Things my characters would say.
I am recovering from an intense period of brainstorming that was very beneficial to the evolution of my writing. But I am back, to actively telling a story.
I finally understand the text I am writing, as the synthesis of all the possibilities I wined and dined in my mind. Is it fiction? Check. Is it memoir? Fuzzy check.
At one point, I thought I was exploring a new space called Fantasy Memoir. I don’t know if there is such a thing. There probably is, because when I think I have a good idea, if I look hard enough I will find others preceded me in that particular line of imagination.
But, I have also explored different options to speak my thoughts as non-fiction. That, though, would require something different than what my spirit wants to say. My spirit wants a Meta-Myth.
I have found that my spirit, when I judge that it is grounded in appropriate aspirations, typically identifies fruitful avenues. And, my spirit is telling me to write a myth about myth.
This evening, I once again sat down to work on my manuscript. And, I wrote a bunch of stuff that doesn’t belong in that piece. But, it belongs in the story. So, I have within my Scrivener project, folders for what different characters might say. And, I am further breaking it down by having individual pages of possible statements and thoughts for each main character at the beginning of the story, the middle, and the end.
My writing style is haphazard, in the sense that I follow inspiration where it takes me. To hell with the narrative, when great ideas come for individual moments. So, I write them where I am, which is my draft. And then, I have to pull them back out. I just read what I wrote this evening. It’s all great. But, none of it seems to go together.
Tomorrow, I will re-organize today’s writing, as a warm-up activity, after my journaling, but before my story-telling. I approach my writing as a potter explores hand-built pieces. I am developing a narrative for all of the individual inspirations, that provide context for a truth I seek to convey.
Yoda rough skis do
=== 12:13 a.m. (Thursday, the 17th) ===
Small couch, east.
I just came home from Yoda rough skis do, <== isn’t this fantastic? This is what Apple’s voice recognition software heard, when I spoke into my journal, “I just came home from Jodorowsky’s Dune.”
It was my second time. The first, I felt a deep spiritual connection to this man, Alejandro Jodorowsky. I had heard of his creation, long ago.
I went again. This time, to focus on his words. The first time, I felt a bit dazzled by his originality. This evening, I was prepared for the surprises, so my attention could remain on his words and ideas.
I can’t recommend this film highly enough. See it, and watch how an artist thinks.
Among Atheists.
I am.
Slow poke. No child prodigy.
Finally. Let go.
Around, About.
The age of thirty.
Fading. My thinking,
Changed.
From reality.
Through story.
Into illusion.
A few, brief, thoughts.
I have been quiet the better part of a week. Possibly, the best week of my life, in many ways.
Since my previous post, I have been in wheel-chair prescription-limbo.
It’s bizarre. How strange our worlds?
Become, when insurance enters our lives.
It’s not my control. It’s shared control.
In order to gain control, I have to learn how insurance companies think. It’s what I imagine before.
The alien, suddenly, in my dreams.
And this has been possibly the best week of my life, because, for the rest of it, I have only been writing, and meditating on my manuscript. I am now in full book-writing mode.
Beam me up, Spock.
To a heavenly place.
Each day, when I begin to type.
Thoughts. Not my own.
Some Thoughts…. I need to get out of my head before I can share my views on God.
I have received multiple invites to watch today’s debate between Bill Nye, The Science Guy, and Ken Ham.
One of the hams on stage is a creationist. The other will represent evolution. In a theatrical form.
Symbolically, we get to choose. Which one is right?
But, I won’t tune in, until it has cured a few weeks, on a hook in the meat closet. Away from the flies.
Right now I don’t want to watch it at all. Because, I know which side is right.
Neither! The reason we have these silly debates is because we aren’t able to move beyond our differences. I want to talk about how we can.
*****
I have been waiting for the right moment to elevate the content of my blog. Today seems perfect, for a couple reasons.
One. I am more lucid to-day, than any other, these past couple weeks. And when I am lucid, my thoughts drift to the big questions we all struggle with. God, or no. Life, and the before-after sandwich we call the spiritual. And, consciousness.
Also. Two.
There’s a reason for switching my voice, that allows me to discuss why my voice has changed. It’s not puberty! Just so no one is confused.
Voices change with thoughts.
The Ham-Nye debate somehow represents my own thoughts, and my blog. How opportune!
So onwards from here. Some days I will share my thoughts about God. Others, I will think about the mind. And still others, I will pull lint from my navel. But, it’s all related. Trust me.
At least now, hopefully I can launch directly into discussions of my beliefs about God, without feeling self-conscious doing so.
*****
You may have noticed that my writing often seems focused on ordinary things. The useless riffraff, left from otherwise forgettable days. And, yet, today, I am switching to the topics of God, and death, and understanding. Even if, only my own.
But, my ordinary days are always related to the special, now that I pay attention. I write about the ordinary so that I can draw on those experiences when discussing the extra-ordinary. So, when you read about my day shopping for a wheel chair, or another spent dealing with the insurance company that cut off my disability payments, it’s because my ordinary experiences have some meaning for me. And, I want to convey meaning through my writing. But, I can only do so through the trial and error of everyday attempts.
I want you to see me for who I am. I am sometimes neurotic. And, I guess that makes me human. And if you can see me as human, then you can read my thoughts without being offended. And believe me. Some of my thoughts will offend. It’s why I don’t discuss them lightly.
*****
Here are some rules that might help clarify my posts regarding God, and no gods, and religion. My first on the topic, but by no means, my last.
- I reserve the right to offend. I’m not trying to offend. It’s just inevitable, if I am to express myself clearly.
- You reserve the right to be offended. Just know, I’m not doing it, like a comedian. Whether you thump a bible, or got rid of yours long ago, my views might offend you. Or worse, turn you off. But, I don’t want anyone to think I am making anyone else the butt of a joke. I may discuss a certain belief, and then tweak it to get a point across. Once you feel that point, you might get what I am saying. Sometimes offending each other is the only way we can communicate.
- You reserve the right to offend me. If I am wrong, please tell me. I want to know, because I want to grow. And I typically have to be dragged, kicking and scratching against the friction of my offended feelings.
- We respect each other as human beings. The golden rule doesn’t belong to any one set of beliefs. I believe religious people can be rational. I also believe that atheists can be irrational. But, sanity is our common right. We will never arrive. But, it is possible to imagine how we will all be viewed one day by the survivors.
*****
I believe we can only understand properly through other points-of-view. This is not a place where one of us is right and the others are wrong. Common understanding comes through mutual understanding. We each embody something the other needs. And truth is never perceived directly. Nor is it claimed as a battlefield prize.
This blog is not where you capitulate to me, or visa versa, unless one of us is seriously wrong. This blog is where believers and atheists are welcome to commune. I do believe a common understanding is possible, and that belief vs. non-belief is the wrong way to approach the subject.
Sure, it’s necessary for some people from each persuasion to duke it. But, that’s only because they symbolize what we all struggle with. And their fight is the topic of our discussion. It’s the human way to understand.
The monkey way. The tribal way.
At least, it’s my way.